Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
