Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
