Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
