Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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