Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize