was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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