community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
