i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
