You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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