is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
