i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I need to sanitize my soul.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
