I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
