she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
well you can't waste a boner
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
