I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
