my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
