Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
