some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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