Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize