Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
