What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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