Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He better not be in your backpack
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
