So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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