I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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