My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
