I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
