I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
