I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
do herpes really smell.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
