Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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