He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
