On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
