She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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