things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
