was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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