Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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