The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
