Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
