I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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