fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
