Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
