I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
