erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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