Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
