what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
