So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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