I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
