physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
