Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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