She is in my trunk
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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