Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
