her vagine was all disorganized.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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