i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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