Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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