She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Randomize
