i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
