Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
