I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
