You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
