my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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