i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
