Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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