Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
