The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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