Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
