I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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