so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
